Though I’m a male, I would like to address myself as a female for the benefit of those reading thistopic.I highly disagree with withholding sex, and a lot ofpsychologists also disagree. But I personally havea few reasons for why I view it as just plainheartless.I understand that you are trying to prove a point,but withholding sex may not be the best way toprove your point despite what you may think.1. Withholding sex teaches your man to only valueyour body. When you withhold sex from yourman, you are sending a message. The message is,“My body is a reward.” And don’t get me wrong. Ithink every woman’s body is a prize, but whenyou withhold sex from a man, you are telling himthat the only thing he should worry about is doingwhat you want him to do so that he can get “theprize”.There is more to a woman than her body, so whyare you only withholding your body? I’m not tryingto give you any other ideas to torture your man,but why not withhold everything you do? Are youonly a sex toy? If not, stop treating yourself likethe only valuable thing about you is your vagina.2. Withholding sex is prostitution. Oh yes I did justgo there! When you withhold sex, you are sendinga second message: “My body is for sale.” You areteaching the man that if he gives you A, B, and C,then you’ll give him X, Y, and Z. Basically, you aremaking a transaction or exchanging goods. Youare bartering. Yes, in relationships there shouldbe negotiating, but sex should not be a part of thenegotiation. You shouldn’t barter sex. That’s whatprostitutes do.3. Withholding sex is emotionally abusive. Thereare men in this world that actually enjoy havingsex with the woman they love, and they use sex asa way to express that. When you withhold sexfrom him, you are sending a final message: “Idon’t want to love you”. Let’s face it. The onlyreason why women withhold sex is to hurt theguy. Just be honest and call it what it is. Let’s notpretend that we don’t know it’s a mean spiritedthing to do. It is only done to inflict pain. Andthat’s why it’s abuse. It’s only done to make theman feel lonely, deprived, and left in the cold. If aman purposely makes a woman feel that way, wewould say he’s abusive. So why not say that whenit’s the other way around?Sex is supposed to be an expression of love. It’snot supposed to be used as a way to get what youwant, reward people for things, or to punishpeople for things. I hate when women use theirbodies in this way because it matches thestereotype that we use our bodies and sexuality toget what we want. I always want us to transcendthose stereotypes, but some of us are doing agood job of proving those stereotypes to be true.I don’t quite know who to blame for this, but theperception that you can get whatever you want byhaving or withholding sex is flawed. Every timeyou do that, you are reducing yourself down tojust a body. You are ignoring the parts of you thatcan actually get the job done “the mind andthe spirit.”You can’t actually believe that withholding sex isthe best way to prove your point. Are you tellingme that you can’t come up with any other way tobarter without using your body? If you can’t, thenyou don’t need to have kids because kids don’twant to have sex with you, so how are you goingto get them to behave?You know what I think? I think some women thinkmen are children. They think they have to“discipline” him if he does something wrong. Ifyou have a man that needs to be disciplined, thenmaybe you shouldn’t be with him. I personallyprefer to date a man that has already been raisedwell by his mom. I don’t want to date someonethat I have to raise and discipline. If you have todo that, then maybe you shouldn’t be with him inthe first place. Don’t you know that you are notthe only woman with a vagina? If you don’t give itto him, wheredo you think he will get it? From another woman,of course! With all the Rachel Uchitels of theworld, there would be lots of women who wouldbe glad to sleep with your man if you refuse tow
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